Can Someone Explain FarmersOnly.com? (Because We City Folks Don’t Get it)
If you watch television, you can’t miss the barrage of commercials from an online dating site called FarmersOnly.com. These ads are so embarrassingly bad, they’re actually great.
This baffling website claims to help farmers create relationships. It connects “cowboys to cowgirls.” It’s targeted at people who prefer the country lifestyle. The commercials even take a swipe at cynical urbanites, purporting that “city folk just don’t get it.”
They’re absolutely right. I’m city folk, and I don’t fucking get it.
Oh, I’m sure there’s an untapped market out there for desperate damsels attracted to men bruised with mutton chops. Some women tingle inside at the sight of a gun rack filled with loaded shotguns tacked onto the rear window of a Ford F-150 pickup. Come to think of it — kinda’ gives me goosebumps, too. Yeah, real goosebumps.
What I don’t get is how the hell a dating site for “farmers” can run just as many commercial ads as Budweiser or Viagra? Are there really that many lonely country folks out there? And, if indeed there are, would they be paying attention to the commercial break of an Ivy League college basketball game on ESPN between Princeton and Brown? I don’t mean to stereotype anyone, but wouldn’t farmers instead be tending to their livestock, repairing tractors, picking watermelons, starting campfires, taking over federal buildings, or doing whatever farmers usually do?
In case you haven’t seen the ads, here’s one that’s pretty typical of the marketing pitch:
I suppose there’s a genteel charm associated with attractive members of the opposite sex with provincial mannerisms combined with the mirage of life in the country. Lots of unspoiled land and wide-open spaces….the freedom to do your own thing….the right to pretty much be left alone — those romanticized apparitions appeal to millions of people, including those of us stuck living in cities breathing car exhaust fumes.
Nevertheless, judging by my last couple of cross-country road trips across the American heartland, I haven’t noticed too many George Straits and Matthew McConaughey’s tending to the fields, living quiet lives of solitary desperation posting ads for mates on a dating site. A girl who signs up at FarmersOnly.com seems far more likely to get stuck on a blind date with the toothless banjo boy from “Deliverance” all grown up and rock-hard ready for mating season.
So, how can we explain the hundreds, if not thousands, of FarmersOnly.com spots popping up on our TV screens on almost every channel? Surely, commercial time costs a shitload of money. There can’t be that much profit in skimming the vig off matches of Bubba Joe in Talladega with Sally Mae in Chattanooga. I can’t imagine farmers forking over hundreds or thousands of dollars to meet single maidens, nor can I envisage a queue of damsels eager to set down roots in a trailer park, as tempting as a double-wide with basic cable might seem.
Actually, the explanation might be something else. First, let’s correct some false assumptions. According to several sources, it turns out that a sizable percentage of FarmersOnly.com members aren’t country folks, at all. Many actually live in the suburbs and even in big cities. I’m not kidding. One female blogger who conducted her own investigation was shocked to discover a high number of matches for “farmers” came up in — now, hold onto your cowboy hats, partner — New York City. [READ MORE HERE]
New York City! Someone, get a rope.
Okay — so it’s not just rural folks and rednecks hanging out on the dating site. People all over the country seek love, sometimes in some mighty strange places. Still, seeing who’s being targeted by all this advertising, my citified cynicism tells me this is one helluva’ supersized crackerbox of conservatives. The site has aired at least a dozen different commercials. I’ve yet to see any man or woman (or those represented by actors portraying “farmers”) of color. Not a single Black person. Not a Latino. Forget Asians — they don’t farm anyways. Of course, there’s no inference of a same-sex dating option on the website. Gee, I guess gay people must not exist outside of New York and San Francisco. The marketing which is overwhelmingly straight and white does beg a serious question. Could FarmersOnly.com be a veiled front for what couldn’t be advertised otherwise, which is — “StraightWhiteDatingOnly.com?”
To give some balance here, minority groups have their own dating websites and advocacy organizations. Some will insist there’s nothing inherently wrong with a website matching people who predominantly happen to prefer dating members of their own race limited to the opposite sex. If that’s what they’re seeking, then so be it. I’m all for it. Actually, I agree that people should be free to choose who they want to date and our advertising will reflect these preferences. But let’s also cut through the cow dung.
There are significant numbers of farmers and ranchers out there who are not White. There are certainly large numbers of people who are gay living in rural America. There’s even an organization called the International Gay Rodeo Association which holds events all over the country. One presumes these “farmers” would also be interested in dating and developing relationships just like “normal” people, right? So, why haven’t we seen anyone from these groups in any ads? Seems odd there hasn’t been a Black, a Latino, a Native-American, an Asian, a Middle-Easterner, nor anyone who’s gay on the dating site for “farmers.”
The evidence is clear as to what’s really going on. Here’s a commercial for FarmerOnly.com which includes 12 females, according to my count (see below). Notice any particular racial similarities about this healthy herd of heifers?
Again, call me a cynical city slicker who “just doesn’t get it.” But something tells me when Bubba Joe logs onto his “free” membership account, this promise of sweet lovelies won’t be awaiting him. If it is — then I need to move to the farm and join the NRA. The equivalent of 72 virgins is calling my name.
Hold down the fort, you Oregon patriots! I’m on my way!
“I don’t mean to stereotype anyone, but wouldn’t farmers instead be tending to their livestock, repairing tractors, picking watermelons, starting campfires, taking over federal buildings, or doing whatever farmers usually do?”
I’ve found that when someone begins a sentence with “I don’t mean to [do something]”, about 90% of the time they mean to do exactly that something. I’d claim this is one of those cases. Just make sure you don’t object the next time someone stereotypes poker players or Las Vegas residents or liberals, because you have no leg to stand on.
There are a lot of dating web sites that cater to a subset of the population. I find it somewhat disturbing that you single this one out. I can assume you’re currently working on your epic takedowns of BlackPeopleMeet and JDate. I can’t wait for you to expose the scandal when you find that some of the folks who have created accounts on BlackPeopleMeet aren’t African American and some of the folks with accounts on JDate aren’t actually Jewish. Nobody tell Nolan that some of the men who sign up at cougarlife.com aren’t in their 20s. I certainly must have missed Nolan’s scathing indictment of Ashley Madison, a site that is verifiably guilty of these things, not just a target of innuendo. Here’s a groundbreaking revelation for you. There are trolls on the Internet, and some people go around representing themselves as different people than they are in real life. That’s deserving of an expose. It sounds like it might be news to some people, or at least one of us.
I can understand why folks would think that FamersOnly would be an appealing proposition. The rural lifestyle isn’t for everyone, our rural population is declining, and the population densities were low to begin with, making it much more difficult for people in those parts of the country to meet other people. Seems to me that this fills an understandable void.
Now, are there folks who sign up for this web site that do so not because they’re actual farmers, but because they have some sympathy for the rural lifestyle? I’d suspect so, although I don’t know that for an absolute fact. Are there correlations between this self-identifying population and certain social and political beliefs that you and I find distasteful? Probably. However, to single out this one group for scorn is hypocritical. “Notice any particular racial similarities about this healthy herd of heifers?” You’ve made the same observation about BlackPeopleMeet ads somewhere, right? And you have the same objection, right? And you publicly insult the people who subscribe to that site the same way, right?
“Again, call me a cynical city slicker who ‘just doesn’t get it.’ But something tell [sic] me when Bubba Joe logs onto his ‘free’ membership account, this promise of sweet lovelies won’t be awaiting him.” Replacing “cynical city slicker” and “Bubba Joe” with appropriate variations, you can name ONE dating web site where this objection doesn’t apply, right? And you’ve given equal time to criticizing them all, right? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Often times I hear folks on the right babble on about how hypocritical folks on the left are about their own intolerance. I really *want* to argue with them. But, when I read screeds like this one, I realize that they have a point, even if I don’t think the magnitude of what they’re talking about is in the same ballpark (after all, Nolan isn’t suggesting passing laws disenfranchising farmers from voting, or anything like that.) IMHO, unfairly stereotyping others in this manner hurts the effort to champion causes of *real* injustice in this country, and that’s why I take the time to point it out.
You have the reading comprehension of… an uneducated cattle herder, I guess.
Why is it so hard to comprehend the criticism of FarmersOnly.com really perpetuating white, straight relationships, equating country folk, farmers, ranchers to conservative, straight, white people thus discrimanating people who don’t fit that mold, while feigning to be inclusive of all FARMERS by name of the site alone.
Why should a site be objected to the same criticism for advertising to a certain ethnicity, for instance black people, when it’s literally called BLACKPEOPLEMeet.
City folk like me really don’t get it!
Hilarious article! And yes, I HAVE wondered why there were so many ads!
http://www.sltrib.com/news/3378638-155/utah-based-dating-site-for-white-people
WhereWhitePeopleMeetcom
In Salt Lake City. I shit you not.
Is this the Onion? You just hammered rural Americans, farmers, and ranchers with grossly offensive stereotypes and insults. Based on your article I’m quite sure a detailed explanation would be lost on you so let be try to be as brief and succinct as possible.
It’s not them, it’s you….
They are trying to avoid people just like you. There are women who don’t want to go on a date and end up with someone who views their background, communities, accent, upbringing, etc. the with a sarcastic cynical derision and contempt. They don’t want to waste time listening to some vain self-absorbed metro-sexual elitist who thinks that everyone beyond the suburbs lives their lives motivated by racism. What would you possibly have in common?
FYI, they do proudly provide services to every sexual orientation.
The ad where the production team clearly smeared peanut butter on the roof of a dog’s mouth to create that “state of the art” imagery of a talking dog …..How ridiculous looking…..
I am a country girl and lots of farmers and cowgirls are good wonderful people. However, beware my abusive farmer ex is on that dating site. Run like hell cause he will beat and torture you mentally and physically. They don’t run checks on those people. Having a farm and a good job to boot doesn’t mean your not a drunken abusive mentally ill loser.
The Non rural, urbane populous are often the ones accused of being elitist, snobby, and cynical. Growing up in rural northern California, with plenty of country people that this website targets, I can tell you that the rural “elites” as I call them, can be just as uppity and pretentious as the art gallery watching, wine tasting liberals in Sonoma County. There exists a well heeled and moneyed culture of ranchers, highly paid blue collar occupations, etc… I’ve seen “country girls” with very manicured nails, sporting $150.00 Miss Me jeans, and a Louis Vuitton slung over their shoulder. They also tend to deride and look down on folks that they feel are less than superior. They are not all humble, down to earth, “aw shucks” types of folks.
You make a very good point about the exclusion of minorities, but what annoys me most about these ads is the condescending and scornful attitude towards ‘city folks’. The recent ‘fishing date’ ad for instance features a stereotypical spoiled, obnoxious city woman who’s dragged out of a boat by a country gal, who then takes off with her date leaving her staggering out of the water in the middle of nowhere. The first comment here is a good illustration of what reactions would likely be to an ad for city dating showing a country woman dressed like Daisy Mae being ditched by her date in favor of a sophisticated city woman and left to fend for herself in the middle of Times Square.
I know, I know, it’s meant to be funny, but to me there’s a mean streak there.
These are the DUMBEST dating commercials I have ever seen!
I AGREE WITH YOU!
I live in New York City and those stupid ads are in heavy rotation. They must be costing a fortune. Your explanation seems to be the most likely. I hadn’t thought of it and was baffled, but it makes sense in a racist light. And now, they have a ridiculous LARPer-type wizard on them. I can’t think of anything less farmerly.
Crazy that sites like blackpeoplemeet.com don’t get the same shithead judgement you dish out. A dating site kinda just for conservative, gulp, WHITE people… well that about does it lets lose our minds!
Dumb bitch
There’s the proof, you folks just don’t get it. So don’t worry about it, because you don’t get it! Somebody’s always offended. No black folks in the commercials. No Hispanic people in the commercials. Who gives a crap? There is no secret society of straight white people running a dating site under the radar. Anybody of any color, and race can be a person who is looking for someone who loves life out in the rural areas. I know just as many minorities (and they don’t even consider themselves minorities except for the fact that they’re conservative) who enjoy and live life as rural as they can possible can. Are there people who live in the city who will respond to the site? Absolutely but that don’t mean the site isn’t designed to attract like minded people. You folks need to get your panties out of a twist and stop looking for something to be appalled about. And by the way, I’m not single or looking. But I think those who are need all the resources they can get to find the right one.